June 15, 2006

Nerves and Doubt

I don't think I can practice my speech anymore. It's starting to sound pretty ridiculous the more I read it out loud in different voices with different emphasis. About to leave for the sound check... Goodness, I just know I'm going to squeak, or pull a Tourette's Guy and really shout out "Fuck you all." or a random "shit." And all you placing bets on whether I'll cry or not? All I can say is, you people that have faith that my mascara will stay in place, I hope you didn't bet your first born son.

Ughhh. I let someone borrow my cell phone today. I swear I had never seen her before. And she was a senior. We started talking, and it really made me wonder what kind of friends I would have made if I had met EVERYONE. Don't get me wrong, I love you guys, but, honestly, I wonder who else is out there. I really wish I could meet everyone before my speech. Because, I'm sure, there is nothing worse than waiting in a freakin robe listening to some random person ramble on about their own life experience. I mean, come on, what more do I know about the future? What great words of wisdom do I, me, this dweeb right here, have to offer to thousands of people. All I know is I'm wearing a funny hat.

Well, suppose I should stop typing to nobody. I swear, someday, people are going to read these random thoughts, and it will all be worth it. Or, they wont, and I'll die alone and unpublished. And THEN people will read it. It's a crazy world.

An estimated 35 percent of African-Americans are descendants of at least one passenger of the Mayflower.

And, ironically, half of THEM are illegal immigrants.


At June 17, 2006 11:06 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

well, ive read pretty much all your blogs on here. i liked oxygen. and your latest blog, you know we had a huge senior party a few weeks back, and well i met so many people. It's a shame when our peers social barriers make us never learn a thing about each other.



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