October 07, 2006

Goals and Warnings

This time next week I'll be on a plane over the Atlantic, on my way to dublin for Crazy Euro Tour 2006.

Sarah says I have to drink a glass of wine for her.

Margie doesn't know. She's not very clever.

Allie asked me to get laid by an Irish man for her. But to be careful I don't get any weird Irish STD.

Ubiquitous response: POTATO HERPES!


I'm done digging through trash for things I thought I'd lost but really had sincerely needed to throw away, I'm tired of feeling like I need to settle to be happy.

Liberation. Celebratory liberation libations tonight!

Listening to:
Jimmy Eat World - The Middle (Acoustic)
Dylan - Forever Young
Gael Garcia Bernal, Alain Chabat, Aurélia Petit & Sacha Bourdo - If You Rescue Me

October 06, 2006

Apathy on a Friday!

Thanks Kokobear, you're the best.

October 02, 2006

Going to hell.

So, it looks like I'm going to hell and G-d is kinda pissed about it. This fucking headache that wont leave me alone, and my good old buddy Mr. Self Doubt is back in town for a visit. Not taking it seriously, but feeling kinda lonely (still)...

Sometimes this place feels like home. Most of the time it feels messy and fictional. Ok, so, like home.

October 01, 2006

I want to be loud.

I want to be loud enough for the whole world to hear me shout, to tell everyone that I can do this, I can do independence, I can do loneliness with style, I can be this person, and I can do it well. I find myself missing all of my familiars, those people that know me as a concept as well as a person. I'm sitting here in this silent library, caffiene running through my veins, wanting more than anything to scream out loud. I want to tell the world that I'm worth paying attention to, I'm worth taking chances on, because damnit, I am. I'm also seeking forgiveness, sending out waves of love and growth and emotional depth to all of those that have fallen away. I have no regrets, but so many things I want to make better.

I want to shout, I want to be podcast into everyone's brain, into their dreams, so that when they see me in the waking life they will know it was me, it was me that haunted their sleep with my self affirming proclamations that can only be reduced to graffiti on bathroom walls.

THe singular of graffiti is graffito.

More reading to be done, more screaming to desire, more guilt to be savored.

Heavier curtains being drawn over your eyes and mine, you invisible you. Confirm my suspicions or confirm my doubts, but please don't leave me in suspense.

Definition of me.

Listening to:
The Mountain Goats
Of Montreal

Drinking: Double Espresso.

Avoiding: Impending essay due date. Religion reading.

Waiting for: Packages from home. Men?

Promising to: Post more note doodles. Not be so psycho.

CaffieneCaffieneCaffieneCaffieneCaffieneCaffieneCaffiene is good.