July 20, 2006

I slept with a dog - Part I

Literally.

I'm housesitting, in this pretty nice house with a great tv and great ice cream, but basically I'm watching over Satan. This dog is nuts. All night she's trying to attack my face, which would be kind of cute if she wasn't this huge German Shepard that could literally tear me to pieces. When I finally try to get some sleep, she starts scratching on the bedroom doors, and I can't very well let her destroy the house, so I have to let her in.

Her name even sounds evil. Sadie. Sounds like sadistic.

I guess she's used to sleeping on the bed, but at first I don't let her, so she just keeps jumping around the bedroom until I finally agree to let her come in bed with me. (Sounds like some guys I know, but thats a whole different story) So this dog starts attacking my face IN BED, mind you this is past three in the morning. I'm not a happy camper, but I finally just pass out.

Then, this morning, I wake up to lawnmowers, which usually wouldn't bother me, but SatanMcGruff is howling at the back door. I think she just has to pee so I let her out... oh no. It turns out she knows how to jump up and unlock the back gate. So she attacks this gardener with one of those blow thingies... what are they called? Oh, right , a leaf blower... And I have to go chasing after this dog IN MY PAJAMAS and explain to this guy who obviously doesn't know english that I'm sorry my dog attacked his blow thingy and pull this demon back into the house, where she proceeds to run in circles and knock things down, and I'm still half asleep at this point, so I pick up the phone and call my dad... "Daddy, can I bring Sadie over... please... there are blowers."

So I get all my stuff together, throw a sweatshirt on, and drag Sadie into my civic. This dog had obviously never been in a car before, and on the short trip back to my house she's basically having a seizure, I'm almost in tears because I got about 4 hours of sleep two nights in a row, I throw open my door and push her into the backyard.

I hate animals. Or maybe just Sadie.

And I smell like dog. AND I work until 11 pm tonight. Which is basically ridiculous. Someone else should come sleep with me tonight to protect me from this devil.

2 Comments:

At July 20, 2006 11:36 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

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At July 20, 2006 11:37 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

wow gold opportunity!

 

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